Hallohoochies: Tricks Or Treats? Part Two

This pumpkin will catch the hoochie flu and come to work the next day getting everyone sick. Thanks Mystii (with two I's). 

Back in 2009 I wrote an "essay" if you will about the epidemic of "Hallohoochies."  I wanted to try to discover if they are indeed tricks or just festive treats.  Fast forward to Halloween 2013 and epidemic is still alive and well.  Not only are girls (don't worry we will address guys too later on) still running around showing their "ghoul" all over town, but the costume companies have taken it upon themselves to take all of our childhood memories and destroy them with nothing more than a slutty dress pattern and an in demand market.  

Rather than rant and rave like I did in 2009, I am simply going to show you some of the most ridiculous and tragic costumes that are coming to a Halloween party near you (if they have not already).  Let's take a moment to look and laugh at these "sexy" Halloween costumes.  And remember, as I said in 2009, tricks share your treats responsibly! 

If Burt and Ernie were gay, like so many people claim, then the above costume is definitely how they would go out in drag.  Of course they would bring along cookie because he would have the best after drinking snacks ever (if he didn't eat them all already).

Oh look!  On their way to the party the girls spot their good friend Mickey!  Good thing Miss Mouse is like 90% of most young girls and think that as long as they have on warm boots the rest of their not dressed for the cold body will be warm.  OH BOY! 

Oh yay!  They also spotted PinocchiHOE!  She is great to take to parties because she can always tell when the boys (and some girls) are lying.  Yea sure you have that amazing job and live in that penthouse downtown… PinocchiHOE has no time for games. NEXT! 

Ugh I hate running into skunks on the way to a fab party.  Let's run inside girls, nobody likes her anyway! 

Look! It's MESSica Rabbit.  She is always doing the door at the hottest parties. HAY GURL!  And of course Waldo is at the bar.  Tomorrow Where's Waldo is going to be like, "Where's My Clothes and where is my dignity?" 

Spongebob is always ready for the party but sometimes she can be a bit much.  Thankfully there is a male nurse at this party who will know just what to do if Spongebob absorbs to much drank.

JUST NO!  Guys, not everything needs to be shirtless.  We get it, you go to the gym for beach season and Halloween.  Also guys and gals if you are "overly curvy" let's just keep clothes on, KAY?

We can't leave out couples costumes.  These two deserve each other.  Also, HAHAHAHA!

Turns out the entertainment for the party at this club is lame (just some creepy clown) so the girls decide to call it a night and go get some drunk food.

Thank goodness for late night pizza and french fries! YAAAS!

Well, that was certainly an interesting and scantily clad night!  Get home safe girls!  All of you were drinking a lot so make sure to take a cab! 

I wouldn't want any of my girls going to jail. Orange is the New Black is not cute when it happens to you in real life! 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN Y'ALL!!!!

Love ~ OJ&B